A ramble about potty training!

When I first started to thinking about potty training, I did quite a bit of research on it. I always had the idea in my head that around the age of two, we would get rid of the dummy and start potty training. One year and four months later, here we are with a little boy still not potty trained (although the dummy did go at his 2nd birthday party completely by chance because we lost it and didn't find it for another 3 days and he would only have that specific one... ditching the dummy ended up being so, so easy)!

Potty training is a whole other story though! When Alfie turned 2 in September 2014, we were on honeymoon, so I wanted to wait until we had settled in back at home before we tried. Once we got back home though, our situation changed meaning I was changing my hours at work from part time to full time, so he ended up starting nursery the month after his birthday and as he was only going a day and a half a week, it took him quite a while to settle in. Then November came and he got chicken pox and impetigo and was really quite poorly, so that wasn't the right time. In December, we were packing to move house, so again, it wasn't the right time as I didn't want to start when he was just recovering from being really poorly and we were uprooting him to a new house. Come January, when we moved into the new house, we moved him from cot to bed which was another big change for him... There just always seemed to be one thing after another and I was really worried about to much changing all at once for him. 

Once we were in the house and unpacked, we started to test the water and he would happily sit on his potty fully clothed and watch a bit of tv. Over the course of the year, we've tried potty training but we've not got anywhere. In fact, we are probably in a worse position now than we were when we first started. On a few occasions, he has used the potty and we have made a really big fuss, stuck star stickers on his chart, done all the things we should do, but for whatever reason, he has just decided that he absolutely will not sit on that potty and do anything. We tried to bypass the potty and go straight to the toilet... which didn't work. He only actually sat on the toilet once - we were at my mum's and he asked could he do a wee (he nearly always asks if he can do a wee in his nappy before doing it), so my mum took him upstairs and popped him on the toilet but he let go and almost fell in, so I think it scared him and he's not been anywhere near one since. 

We have tried to put him in pull ups, but he uses them just like nappies. We have tried putting him in pants, but he holds his wee in until he gets to the point where he is begging for a nappy. He's only actually had about three accidents and we've always reassured him that it's ok and he's still learning and it doesn't matter, but I think he feels embarrassed... 

It has got to the point, where if we so much as mention the potty / toilet, he has an epic meltdown. He will point blank refuse then he will scream and cry and throw the potty away and tell us he is not doing it. 

I've spoke to a few of the key workers at his nursery and the nursery manager and everything they've suggested, we've tried. They don't actually seem concerned and they keep telling me he's got loads of time as he won't start school until Sept '17. We have pulled back with it so many times. Sometimes we have given it a week between trying, sometimes a month or two. This time round, we've not properly tried him again, just tried to talk about it and ask if he will sit on the potty. 

It's now at the stage where I am actually worried about it. He is really intelligent for his age as his nursery have said he's over achieving at everything and this is the only thing that he can improve on. I just don't know what to do though. I am at my wits end wondering if and when he will ever crack it.

On Friday I decided that enough was enough and decided to put him in pants. He held his wee in from 9am, until he had an accident at 5.20pm. The weekend has been pretty much the same. On Saturday, he went to my sister in law's for a couple of hours to play with his cousins and he wore pants all day - and didn't wee and held it in all day until about 6pm... Sunday was pretty much the same, until about tea time ish when he had five accidents in quick succession. What's the most frustrating thing of it all though, is he's not even attempting to use the potty, he's just holding it in all day and then doing it in his pants. My in-laws kindly look after him three morning's a week and they'd got to the stage where it was too hard to change him because my MIL can't lift him up on to a changing table, so I need to get him trained as much for them as anything else.

A lot of people keep telling me he's not ready and leave it a while, but after doing that for a year, surely I have to take action? 

Have you got any advice? I would love to hear any tips or read any blogs posts about it..