Me and Mine - April 2016

What a month!

I feel like I've been waiting for this month since February as I knew this was the month we could finally announce our second pregnancy!

I'm not going to lie, this first trimester has really, really kicked my butt. I've struggled so much more this time around than I did with Alfie. I'm still being sick most days, I'm still completely wiped out in the evening's, I've not cooked a proper meal for about 10 weeks...I can't wait until this feeling passes and I can start to enjoy this pregnancy because so far, it's been really tough.

I've struggled a lot this month. I've struggled with guilt over not being a good mummy or wife. I feel like I've totally neglected the boys as I've been going to sleep as soon as I can in the evening's, meaning I've had very little time with Michael and I've not been the Mummy Alfie deserves. I've not had the energy to do much as by the time we get to weekend, I feel so wiped out that I've just wanted to stay home and relax, so we haven't really done any of the things that I wanted to do. That said, this month has made me realise more than ever just how lucky I am to have my boys. Alfie has been really good at taking care of me, bringing me a glass of water every morning and he's been really understanding when I've just wanted to cuddle on the couch with him instead of playing, or cooking etc. As for Michael - I don't even know where to begin. He's been my absolute rock. Since the sickness kicked in, he's literally done everything - working full time, looking after Alfie (and me), making tea every night (pre pregnancy, his tea would be on the table when he walked in) he's been doing the housework, the washing... Everything. I'm so grateful to have him! I couldn't wish to be sharing this journey with a better man.

It's not all been doom and gloom this month though as we finally got to see our little baby for the 1st time at my 12 week scan. It was as incredible as the first time we saw Alfie and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I got confirmation that there's only one little bub in there! ;)

Once we'd had the scan and we knew everything was ok, I couldn't wait to announce it. I've found it really hard to keep it a secret - not only because I've already got a little bump which I've found harder and harder to hide, but because I've felt so dreadful that it's been hard to keep a secret from my work mates! I was just so relieved that it could finally be out in the open.

I posted this picture on facebook to announce our news.

We were totally overwhelmed with all the comments we got from everyone and we were really touched by all the congratulatory messages we got. I felt very loved!

I absolutely love this picture of my gorgeous boy kissing my tummy. I was so proud.

My hopes of getting a lovely picture of us all didn't go to plan, so it was a last minute job (again) but it's us and that's all that matters (and I promise Alfie is more excited about being a big brother than this picture lets on) ;)

So that's us in April. I'm hoping I feel better for May as I celebrate my 30th and I really hope I'm able to enjoy it without feeling so terrible every day! I keep telling myself that my feeling so bad is a sign that the baby is growing strong, which is the only comfort I can take from the past few weeks.

Here is hoping for a better May.

*linking up with Lucy at dear beautiful boy

Four!

It was just an ordinary Thursday. It was the 25 February. I'd worked all day, picked Alfie up from nursery, come home made tea, the usual, nothing special at all. Once Alfie had gone to bed, I decided to go and have a bath as I felt really drained.

All week I'd had really sore boobs, which is not like me at all. On a whim, I decided to do a pregnancy test (we have been trying). I hadn't even told Michael that I was going to do it and I only did it so I could rule out why my boobs were sore - I thought I'd just been wearing my bra's too tight!

I only had some really cheap tests that Michael got me off eBay ages ago. So, I did a wee and I waited and waited... Until I saw it.

POSITIVE!

What??!! I grabbed the packet to make sure I was reading the result right. I did a second test just to make sure... then I did a third. I still didn't believe it.

All had the same positive result. Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I couldn't be, could I? I tentatively went down to Michael. I was very wary of getting his hopes up, but I needed him to go to the shop to get me another one as I really didn't believe these eBay ones were accurate.

As soon as I told him I'd done three tests, all of which were positive, he jumped up and threw his arms around me. I had to tell him to calm down as I wasn't certain yet. He grabbed his keys and wallet and dashed out to Sainsburys' and was back within 15  minutes! I went upstairs to do another test and that one also said positive. I went downstairs, holding the test in my hand, tears streaming down my face. Michael turned round and saw me and the biggest grin spread across his face. We were both totally and utterly in shock. I couldn't stop crying. I was just so totally and utterly shocked. I quickly worked out that the first proper attempt at trying this year had worked and I'd got pregnant that first time. Still in complete and utter shock, I decided I wanted to do the clear blue test to see how far along I was. Back upstairs I went. What is it about the digital ones which take an absolute age? I sat there for what felt like forever until I saw the words 'Pregnant' followed by 1-2 weeks. Sitting there on the bathroom floor, I was in complete and disbelief. I turned and saw Michael coming up the stairs and he asked if I now believed it. What is it about seeing the word 'pregnant' which make it more believable than two lines on a stick?

The rest of the evening was just lovely. Filled with lots of happy tears and smiles, both of us completely shell shocked!

With Alfie we told everyone straight away, so this time, we decided we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while and enjoy it. Enjoy having a secret that only we knew about, something that was just for us, husband and wife. It was the most amazing secret to be keeping!

Our family is growing! Our beautiful baby boy is going to be a big brother!

The cheap ebay tests which I didn't believe

So I did two more...Just to be sure

{The Ordinary Moments #17} Becoming Four

This week has been anything but ordinary...

We always knew that we wanted Alfie to have a sibling somewhere down the line. I remember him being a tiny little new born and we were totally wrapped up in that newborn bubble of sleepless nights, feeding, changing, visitors, finding our feet and learning how to take care of this little person. The utterly exhausting totally euphoric few weeks, where all the days merge into one and the months go by so fast that you wish it could slow down. We have had three and a half wonderful years of being parents to Alfie and over the last year or so, we've talked seriously about expanding our family.

Back in February, our dreams became reality as I saw those two lines appear on the pregnancy test (and the six I did thereafter). It's been so hard to keep it a secret, but now that secret is finally out in the open.

Although I've done all this before, I was still incredibly nervous on Thursday - scan day. I needn't have worried though as everything is good and baby is growing as s/he should be. It was totally wonderful to be able to see our little baby on the sonographer's screen and it made it all feel very, very real. Even though I've suffered really badly this time and had really bad sickness, I still felt such a wave of relief, seeing that little tiny baby on that screen. Every time I looked over at Michael, I could see the excitement in his face.

I am so incredibly lucky to be sharing this journey with him and he's just been amazing in looking after both me and Alfie over the last few weeks.

Keep growing strong little one. We can't wait to meet you.

*linking up with Katie at Mummy Daddy and me makes three

{The Ordinary Moments #16} Fire Engines

Last Friday, Dad very kindly took me to an appointment I had and took Alfie to the park whilst they waited for me. When they came back to pick me up, a fire engine was parked outside a local school as some fire men had gone inside to do a talk to the children.

Alfie spotted it and wanted to go and see it. We have been wanting to take him to see a fire engine for such a long time, but can never seem to find any open days in our area, so I was actually quite pleased that he would get to be so close to one.

It wasn't until we got to it that I realised that there was still two firemen inside. Once they spotted Alfie, they put the flashing lights on for him and he was so thrilled. The firemen were absolutely brilliant with him and let him go inside, answering all of his many, many questions and showed him all the equipment and what everything did and explained what they used it for.

He was allowed to sit in the drivers seat and pretend that he was really driving - they even said he could put a helmet on, but he shied away from it! We must've spent 30-40 minutes with them and I couldn't thank the firemen enough for their patience with him.

Every since, he's played with his two fire engines every day and has absolutely loved telling people about being able to sit in a real fire engine. I'm just sorry that I didn't have my camera with me, so these photo's are just off my iPhone!

{The Ordinary Moments #15} Feeding the horses

I never got round to posting my Ordinary Moments Post last week for one reason or another, so I'm really, really late with this, but I still wanted to post it...

This week has seen some crazy weather. We have had the most torrential rain and hail, it's been cold and windy and I've really felt fed up with it. I am desperate to get some warmer weather and see a bit of sunshine!

On Tuesday afternoon, my wish was (almost) granted as it was dry and sunny, but there was still a cold wind - the joys of living up North ;)  After Alfie and I had finished our lunch, he asked if we could go and feed the horses. Whilst we live on a relatively busy main road, it is right across the road from a horses field that has little Shetland ponies in it. Alfie and Michael spent many an evening there last year, feeding them and stroking them. So on Tuesday, it was my turn to take him and I was so pleased we were able to get out of the house. At first, they were so far away, but they soon wandered over and it was so lovely to see how brave Alfie has become when feeding them. He will think nothing of getting up close and personal to them!

I snapped these pictures of his and I love how happy he is on them.

{The Ordinary Moments #14} Best Friends

Inspired by the Me and Mine project and Siblings project, I initially started taking pictures of Alfie and his cousins monthly, way back last January and at the end of the year, we put them all in a frame for my in-laws as a Christmas present from us all. The pictures were so lovely once they were all together so we decided to continue taking them this year too. I absolutely love comparison pictures and seeing how they've changed over the year.

The above picture was taking by Michael one Sunday whilst I was at home poorly. I was apprehensive about how the picture would turn out as Michael has absolutely no interest in taking photo's and doesn't think to take them unless I ask or remind him. But I sent him off armed with my camera and hoped for the best - and I'm so pleased with the result.

Over the past couple of weeks, Alfie has seen quite a bit of his cousins and in particular is very close to Holly as she's only 3 years older than him. Jack, at 10, is a great cousin to Alfie and is so patient with him, but as the younger two are closer in age, they'll tend to play together more.

Alfie and Holly love playing cafe - they have a toy kitchen at my inlaws house and we have a kitchen at our house and guaranteed when they're together, you'll find them playing cafe - pretending to take orders on the phone and serving food to us. It's very cute.

I love watching their relationship develop and grow as they do and I feel very lucky that Alfie is able to grow up with his cousins as his best friends as I grew up with my cousins and some of the best memories from my childhood are playing various games with my cousins.

Linking up with Katie from mummy daddy me makes three