I didn't want the day to pass without recording something from our week and as it's Mother's Day, it's made me reflect on being a Mummy.
I was 25 when I found out I was pregnant with Alfie. Michael and I had been together a year and a half and were just about to move into our first house (sadly, we don't yet own our own home). It's hard to believe that it was 3.5 years ago that he entered our lives. I remember that journey to hospital to have him like it was yesterday - the 11 hours I was in labour are a bit hazy thanks to the gas and air though ;)
This little boy will always be the one who made me a Mummy and I will be forever grateful to have him in my life.
I find motherhood hard. We are going through a particularly tough stage at the moment with Alfie and we are both at a complete loss as to how to deal with his behaviour. I seem to be counting the hours down until Daddy gets home or until bedtime. In years to come I know I'll look back and I won't remember the hard days or the days I was so angry and frustrated that I would cry. I'll remember the good times and the special times where he will give me a kiss for no reason at all, or the mornings where he'll get in our bed and instead of sleeping in the middle he will get as close to me as he can wrapping his legs around mine so he's always in contact with me. I want to remember the days when Mummy and Daddy were his best friends in the world and we were the only people who mattered to him.
I'm all too aware that they're only this age for such a short amount of time and I really want to treasure every single moment. Good days and bad days. For I will never get this time back with him and I know as he gets older, these tantrums will stop and I know the best is yet to come.
Alfie will always be my special boy. The one who made me a Mummy, who taught me what it means to be completely selfless and put someone else's needs before my own every hour of every day. He taught me that there is so much love in my heart and made me love his Daddy even more. He teaches me how to see the world through a child's eye and how the simplest of things can be so magical to children. He's made Christmas' better than I ever dreamed possible and he gives me a purpose. I may not always be the best Mummy and sometimes I may be a shouty Mummy, but I hope he knows that I love him with every ounce of my being and I'll do everything I can to be the best Mummy I can be to him.