11 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2!

Due Date: 

Still 01 November, but by next week, I'll have my official due date.

Symptoms:

After getting away with very little sickness last week, this week it's been back with a vengeance! Tuesday, the day I turned 11 weeks, was a particularly bad day as I'd felt off all day and I was really sick at night time which lasted way in to the next day, resulting in me having to go home early from work. I hated having to leave, but I had spent more time in the toilets than I had at my desk. My boss was brilliant though and was so understanding. I'm so glad I've told her that I'm pregnant and I'm not keeping it from her.

Other than the sickness, I've still got next to no energy to do anything and I'm going to bed as soon as I can at night, or falling asleep on the couch, then having to drag myself to bed.

How is baby?

The baby is approx 4cm and has all its fingernails in place and very soon, will start opening and closing it's hands. The head is also very formed, with all the facial bones present. The body is now becoming more proportionate but the head does still take up a third of the overall length.

How I'm feeling? 

Despite feeling so rubbish, I think my mindset has changed this week. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, so I've tried to remain as positive as I can this week and on the odd occasion where I've had a burst of energy, I've tried to do something round the house, so it's not all left to Michael. I keep telling myself that these early weeks are so nearly over and with that the sickness and tiredness should go too. I've also reminded myself that my feeling and being so sick is a sign that the baby is growing strong and I keep reminding myself that is the most important thing and once s/he is here it will have been worth every single second.

I know how lucky I am to be pregnant and I know there are women who would take feeling this bad and worse just to have a little baby growing inside of them. With that in mind, I've tried to focus more on the positives and not be so hard on myself for not being able to cook tea for my husband or play a game with my son. It won't last forever and in the grand scheme of things, it's only a few weeks that I'll feel like this.

I'm excited for my scan next week. I just can't wait until I can see our little bub on screen and hopefully know that everything is ok. It's getting quite hard to hide now because as you can see from the picture above, I've already got a bump! At work, I'm wearing lots of loose tops of hoodies to try and hide my belly! I'll be so glad when it's not a secret anymore :)

10 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2.

Due Date: 

Still 01 November 2016

Symptoms:

To be honest, this week hasn't been too bad. On Monday, I was sick before work and I felt pretty rubbish all day, well in to the evening. Alfie had been poorly with a cough and cold and had been up quite a lot in the night and ended up in our bed, so I was extremely tired, which I think made the sickness worse.

I'm still feeling really tired and I'm totally off food still, but I'm just relieved not to have suffered too badly with sickness this week and having a few days with no sickness has been a welcome break.

How is baby?

The baby's heart is now fully formed and it's heart will be beating two or three times faster than mine. The jaw is also starting to form, with all the milk teeth, which we won't start to see until around 6 months old. Fingers and toes are no longer webbed and the baby can move it's arms from the wrist and will be able to make little jerky movements. Amazing.


How I'm feeling?

Honestly? Not great. I remember reading a post by my lovely blogging friend Charlotte, before I was pregnant, where she talks about how grateful she is to be pregnant, but how hard she's finding it (you can read the post here) and I can totally relate to how she was feeling.

Pregnancy is the most wonderful thing in the world. To grow your baby inside of you for nine months and have this unbreakable bond with someone you haven't even met, well, it's just incredible. That's not to say it's not hard though. I've found this time round so much more difficult. I don't know if it's because I'm older, because I have a three year old to look after whilst I'm not feeling my best, or if it's just been a more difficult pregnancy, but I'm finding it hard. So much harder than I thought I would. I'm consumed by guilt at the moment. I'm not spending enough quality time with Alfie, I'm not able to pick him up when he asks. I'm very aware of lifting heavy things in these early weeks and sadly that also means Alfie too. On the whole, he's understood in his own little way, but it's also meant that Michael has also been picking up a lot of the slack whilst I've not felt up to it.

I feel like I'm failing at being a wife as well as a Mummy. I see the pressure Michael is under - he's working all week, sometimes driving four hours a day if he's working at the other site, he's then coming home and taking over with Alfie straight away, which includes making tea for them both and sometimes me too, he's also doing the bed time routine, which he's always done, but after getting in and having to make tea, it's meant he's not been sitting down till 9pm some nights, from 7am in the morning. I feel like I've neglected him and it has caused tears on occasions  (mine not his, I might add).

I'm incredibly lucky that he's been so understanding and has never once moaned or complained about having to do so much around the house and with Alfie, or the fact that his tea isn't on the table when he gets in after a long day. I'm so blessed to have him by my side supporting me through this journey.

Hopefully it won't be long until I'm over the sickness / tiredness and I can start to enjoy this pregnancy.

I also had my second midwife appointment this week, but there's nothing really to report as I was only in there about five minutes whilst she did a quick blood test. I get the results back at my scan in a couple of weeks.

9 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2

Due Date: 

01 November 2016

Symptoms?

I started off the week feeling pretty symptom free! I had very little sickness or heaving in a morning and didn't feel as tired. I told Michael that it was a relief not to be being sick / heaving every morning but that I didn't want to count my chickens just yet as I knew it may well return... and it did by the end of the week. On Friday, it was my day off and I had my 1st midwife appointment and I was so ill before it. It was the first time that I've been sick and had Alfie there and I felt so bad that he had to see me being sick... he kept popping his head in the bathroom asking if I was ok and telling me he would wait for me, bless him. It was quite a bad episode, but as soon as I was finished, I pretty much instantly felt better and I even managed to eat breakfast before we had to leave the house! I also started with a mild cold this week, so I feel that took it out of me a little bit, but thankfully it didn't develop into a full blown cold.


How's Baby?

The baby is approximately the size of an olive and this week will transform into the feotal period, from the embryonic period. The heart is already beating strong, but I won't feel this. The ears are starting to form and the eyelids are developed, but will remain closed until much later on.


How I'm feeling?

Excited  and exhausted! As mentioned above, I had my first midwife appointment this week and it was so lovely to have one this early. Last time, there was a mix up with my so I ended up on missing quite a few appointments, so I was relieved that this didn't happen this time. The midwife was lovely and she started all my notes, which in itself made me excited as I still have my notes from when I was pregnant with Alfie. Seeing the midwife made it feel much more real. There's nothing much to report from the midwife as that first appointment was basically just a form filling exercise. My in-laws very kindly took me to my appointment, then had Alfie for a few hours for me, so I could go home and rest. I must admit, as much as I missed him, I was really grateful that I was able to go home and rest after feeling so terrible this morning. I feel like the weeks are going quite fast but that's probably because I'm sleeping so, so much! Gone are the days where I would stay up till past midnight and beyond. I feel like I've spent the past few weeks with me head in a toilet or asleep!

One thing I haven't mentioned yet are the vivid dreams I've been having. More or less since finding out, I have been having the craziest dreams! I usually remember my dreams anyway, but my dreams lately seem all the more vivid.

I'm still not managing to eat much except boring bland food and it's getting me down a bit because I'm so desperate eat proper food, but I can't stomach it, nor have I got the energy to cook it!

8 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2

Due Date: 

01 November 2016

Symptoms?

So the sickness has stopped and been replaced with heaving instead although I did have a couple of days at the end of the week where I had no sickness / heaving at all, which was really rather lovely! That said, I've never been so glad for having two toilets! Every morning I get up and go down as quietly as I can and use the down stairs loo as I'm up a good 20 minutes before the boys - I can't imagine it being nice for Michael to wake up to the sound of me being sick every morning. I'm feeling really rough when I get up and getting out of bed is really, really hard! From the moment I open my eyes I'm filled with dread - am I going to be sick? Do I feel sick? Am I going to be ok? I think it's the worry of not knowing if I'm actually going to be sick which makes getting up so much harder!

On saying that, I'm finding now that my sickness is starting to settle down and once I've either been sick / heaved that it's enough to get it out of my system and I'm ok, whereas a few weeks ago the nausea would linger till around mid morning and sometimes even lunch time.

I'm still incredibly tired and I'm so looking forward to Easter as we have no plans and I really need these four days off! Four days to have slow relaxing morning's without setting the alarm. Four days to hopefully enjoy the time off with my boys. Four days where Michael will be there to look after not only Alfie, but me too!

How is baby?

The baby is approximately two centimetres in size and is growing at around 1mm per day. When you think of that, it's pretty crazy. The fingers and toes have started to develop although they are still webbed and will remain this way for some time yet. The embryonic tail is now almost gone and all it's nerves and organs are starting to function.

How I'm feeling?

I feel like I'm starting to manage things better. I've been eating lots of bland foods and I've found I've really missed proper food - I've been craving spaghetti bolognaise  this week, but I've not had the energy to make it and I'm not sure how I'd cope with such a rich meal, so it'll have to wait a few more weeks yet I think. I started the week off feeling really anxious as I was worried about Easter being a write off - the last three weekends I've been fit for nothing and I really didn't want our four days off to be wasted or for me to miss out on anything because I was resting on the couch. Luckily, I got up on Good Friday and felt fine. I had no symptoms at all and I was able to enjoy the day. We went to my granparents and told them the news and it was the perfect Spring day and I was so lovely to sit out in the garden and feel some sun. It's made me desperately crave the warm summer months!

One exciting this which happened this week was on Easter Saturday, I received my letter from the hospital with my scan date which is the 21st April. At last I feel like I've finally something to work towards. I'm being quite silly in that I'm trying to convince myself that once I get to that magical 12 weeks and I've had my scan, that I'll suddenly start to feel better and this sickness and nausea will go and I'll start to feel great! However, I know that just because I've had a scan that I'll suddenly start to feel ok again and back to my old self. With Alfie, the sickness / nausea lasted until around 13 weeks.

Here's hoping it goes sooner rather than later!

7 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2

Due Date:

01 November 2016

Symptoms?

The usual sickness and tiredness. I honestly feel so tired. I just have no energy. I'm still falling asleep on the couch at night as soon as Michael takes Alfie up for a bath and on the two days in the week that I'm at home in the afternoon's, I'm getting Alfie to have some quiet time just so I can lay on the couch and rest. The sickness has been back this week, mainly in the morning's before work which I'm really struggling with and I had a really bad episode on Saturday afternoon. I'd had a glass of fresh orange whilst Michael and Alfie had gone to the pie shop for dinner. I managed three mouthful's before having to run upstairs - it's the worst sickness I'd had yet and I do think it's down to the orange as the last time I had it I'd also had a bad sickness episode. This which resulted in me spending all day and night on the couch and phoning in sick to work on the Sunday. I felt so rough and it was made worse by the fact I'd barely eaten or drank anything. I felt so bad for phoning in sick, but I hadn't moved for a day and I had zero energy and could barely open my eyes - it had really knocked me for six!

How's baby?

This little pickle is now about the size of a blueberry, which is still so small! It's fingers and toes are webbed and it will be jumping about all over the place. Interestingly, by week 7, the embryo has already gone through three sets of kidney's, but they'll start to grow their final set this week.

How I'm feeling?

Honestly? I feel rubbish! I'm feeling sick most of the time, I'm being sick or heaving most morning's, I've no energy to do anything but mostly I feel guilt. Guilt that I can't be the Mummy Alfie deserves because I'm so rough all the time, guilty that he has to come down to give me a kiss night night because I've no energy to crawl the stairs, guilt that I'm relying so heavily on Michael to do everything including all the cooking when he's been at work all day. I know how precious this time is and I'm really trying to remind myself that the sickness means that the baby is growing as it should, but I feel helpless. I'm worried about the strain I'm putting on Michael with all the added pressure and upset that I've no energy to do anything with Alfie and all I want to do is sleep.

I'm finding it really hard. Especially on my long days at work (I work three full days 8-5 and two half days 8-12). I don't want to wish the time away as this well could be the last time I'm pregnant, but I just want this feeling to go and for me to have some energy so I can start to enjoy it more.

This is hard.

6 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2

Due Date?

01 November 2016

Symptoms?

Sickness and I'm so, so, so tired! Morning sickness has hit me like a brick this week and I also seem to be really struggling at night time too - I feel very nauseous and the only way I can get rid of it is to eat something and sleep it off. Work has been a struggle as nobody still knows, so coming in after being so sick in a morning and pretending like I'm ok, has been hard. On the Thursday, I had an episode of being suddenly very sick in the evening after I'd put Alfie to bed. I got a pain in my tummy and the next thing I knew, I was being sick! It's really taking it out of me!

How's Baby?

This week, the baby is the size of a lentil. Despite being so small it's heart is now beating at around 150 times a minute - which is double the rate of my heart. It's hands and feet are still like paddles and there are dark spots where the eyes and nose will form. It's also got little buds on the side of it's head, which will develop into the ears.

How I'm feeling?

I feel wiped out and getting through work is a struggle, all I want to do when I get in is curl up and put my pj's on and sleep. Michael has been amazing, but I never expected anything less. He's been getting in from work and making his own tea as I've not been up to it and he's taken charge of Alfie too and got his tea ready if he's needed some and done the bed and bath routine (he does this anyway) but then he's keeping on top of the house and washing as best he can too. I don't know where I'd be without him.

By the time we got to the weekend, I was so wiped out and I'd started being sick / heaving every morning and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. We were supposed to be having the family round for Michael's birthday, but I just didn't feel up to it, so he suggested that we cancelled it. I felt terrible as I like to make a big fuss of him, so having to cancel made me really upset and I did cry about what  let down I felt, but he was brilliant and told me not to be so silly and the family were really understanding too.

On his actually birthday, I felt ok for the first time in quite a while, so we managed to get out and have a pub lunch and I really enjoyed it, so I took a bit of comfort in the fact that I'd not spoiled his birthday, but we'd at least managed to get out of the house and go for a nice lunch.

I've not really had cravings as such, but at the start of the week all I wanted was toast and then one morning, walking down the stairs, the smell of it made me so sick and I've not really been able to eat it since! I have been eating lots of potato waffles though, which I craved with Alfie too. I'm off tea again, which also happened with Alfie and I'm really missing it.

I've also been really emotional this week. I've been crying over the silliest things. On Saturday, Michael took Alfie out for a little bit and I was lay on the couch feeling really rough and I was watching something and it made me burst in to tears and I couldn't stop. I've cried quite a bit in the morning's too before work cos I've just felt so ill. One of the main reasons I don't drink is because I hate the feeling of being hungover / sick, so I am finding it really hard at the moment. I just keep willing me to get to 12 weeks when the sickness will (hopefully) stop!

Right now though that feels like it's so far away!

5 Weeks Pregnant - Baby Number 2

Due Date:

01 November 2016

How is baby?

The baby is currently the size of a sesame seed and when I think of that, it's just crazy. It's so incredibly tiny! His / Her heart is developing and this week will split into chambers and the buds which will go on to form it's arms and legs, will start to sprout. Right now, it looks more like a tadpole than a baby!

Symptoms?

I had no symptoms all week until the Saturday afternoon when I was sick for the first time and I felt dreadful, to the point where I was curled on the couch in tears cos I felt so rough. I think the sickness was actually caused due to tiredness though because Michael had been on a night out the night before with work, and I couldn't settle until I knew he was home. As I'd only gone to sleep so late (or rather early - the birds were tweeting), I only got up about 11 and I think because I'd not eaten, my blood sugar was really low, which caused the sickness. Once I'd been sick and I'd eaten some toast, I did start to feel better.

I've still been testing every day - it's just such a comfort to me right now and it's the only way I know that I'm pregnant. I don't like that you don't get to see a midwife until much later on and they kind of just take your word for it when you contact them. Testing daily or every couple of days is just my way of feeling in control. We found out so early on and testing gives me reassurance.

How I'm feeling?

I'm feeling really good, apart from the blip on Saturday. I've still got an appetite and no symptoms at all really. I went out for a friends leaving meal this week and I was supposed to be having a drink as I was off the next day, but obviously I couldn't, so I had to lie about that. I think one of my friends may have suspected as he kept winding me up about being pregnant, but I played it down as much as I could. I'm still testing every day and I think it's just for that peace of mind really because other than those two lines on a stick, you don't get any other confirmation from anyone until 12 weeks, which right now seems forever away!

With feeling so rough on Saturday and having a bit of a meltdown, we decided to tell Alfie that I had a baby in my tummy. I don't think he quite understood but we had been talking about it lots anyway to prepare him. Hopefully as I grow, he'll understand it a lot more.

This week, we also had Mother's Day and this is the day we chose to tell our families. I bought Alfie a t-shirt which says 'I can't keep calm, I'm going to be a big brother' which he wore under his jacket. We were going to Michael's parents first and his sister, brother in law and kids were there, so we figured it would be the perfect time to tell them. The plan was for us to give my MIL her cards / presents and then we was going to say that Alfie had something to tell everyone...However, the reality was very different. We arrived and as we walked in, Michael went to put our coats in the kitchen and I sat down, just as Alfie said, to nobody in particular 'Mummy's got a baby in her tummy' I panicked and shouted Michael and my sister in law asked Alfie what he'd said, so he repeated it and Michael and I sat there nervously laughing until the penny dropped with people. I wish I'd have filmed the reactions! We were asked the usual questions of when I'm due, how far am I, have I had any sickness etc. It was nice to be able to tell them and it be out in the open.

Later on at my mum's, Alfie was the complete opposite and didn't say anything until prompted. We'd given Mum her cards and presents and then I asked Alfie if he had anything to tell Nana and he said 'Baby' so I had to ask him where and he said ' in mummy's tummy'. My Mum's reaction was priceless, she was thrilled and jumped up to me straight away and started welling up, then my Dad and sister both come over to give me hugs too and everyone was really excited. I had got Mum a card which said Happy Mothers Day from the Granchildren, which I gave her once she knew and she loved it. I loved telling her that I'd been keeping a secret from them as they all think I can't hold my own water, so it was nice to prove them wrong ;)

It was such a relief to be able to tell our family, but I had loved keeping it a secret for those 10 days for just Michael and I.